The Words You Need to Hear

11 September 2016


It's okay to not know what's coming next. I know it's so hard to give up control and let life carry you along, but in some areas, there's no helping it. Things will work out for you as long as you work hard and carry kindness in your soul. 

You will be an incredible mother one day. It takes time to get there and it's okay to feel pulled in two directions. If you have children you can still pursue a professional career. It feels like you will receive judgement for choosing to be a mom when you are in graduate school, residency, or early years of your profession but only you know what is right for you and your family. And you should be honest with people because, really, wouldn't you want to work with people who see you as a person? I want to surround myself with people who value me as a human being with motivation and dreams. Along that same line, if it takes longer than you want that is okay too. Just because you lost your mom so young doesn't mean your children will lose you in the same way. 

It's okay to be honest about what you want in life. I know it's scary to tell people what you want because if you fall short it feels like people will judge you or shake their head, but all you can do is try. If you don't aim for your dreams there's no chance you'll achieve them. 

You are still you. Some days it doesn't feel like it. Some days it doesn't feel like you're a person at all but rather some sort of being that just exists to push through daily routines. This won't last forever. Take the time to find your spirit - that is who you are. You are someone who cares for others, wants the world to be a better place, and who fights for people when they are down. You see the best in others and try your hardest. Don't let the challenges or tediousness of certain days take that away from you. 

You are strong and you are smart. It seems impossible to not let your confidence waver when you go through a difficult time, but sometimes life just throws punches your way. Get back up and keep moving forward because it's how you'll improve. You can do this.

One day, in the not-so-distant future you will be a compassionate and caring pharmacist. You will make your patients lives better by listening to them and counseling on the the best therapy for them. You will be good at it. Don't doubt yourself.

Life is a path made up of a variety of choices. You get to dictate that path. 

Home

10 September 2016


Did you know that there is a reset button for your soul? I didn't. This past week has been full of challenges and there's no way to easily talk about it. So I won't. Today though, I went home, to my alma mater James Madison. When I drove through the valley with the blue mountains rising on either side of me with grains and farm houses lining the highway I started to feel a little nostalgic. Driving up to my school, my home for five years, was like throwing off the cloak of despair that has been wrapped around my shoulders. I was home. JMU provided me many years of joy and growth and some incredible friends, but I never knew the power it had to turn around even the darkest of times. Some days it feels like I'm just slogging through a variety of challenges, but after today I know that I'm still me. Life can throw you down and run you over, but you have to take it one day at a time and just know that you will come out the other side. 

Weekend Dreams

07 September 2016

{Asheville from The Atlantic}

I'm starting to work on vacation plans. Burn out is real ya'll! I'm in my final didactic year of pharmacy school and I'm learning a lot, along with how to keep going when your will power starts to fade. The thing is... there is no such thing as motivation, it's just people who do and people who don't. And I'm going to be a woman who does. So I'm working up a reward for myself at the end of the semester. I'm looking into cities where I may want a residency and will start planning trips to visit some of them. It's a big world out there.

Rainbows

05 September 2016


Some days you feel such happiness and then others you feel so low. What are those sayings? It's always darkest before the dawn... and you only have rainbows when it rains. I'm looking for a rainbow.

Days Past

30 July 2016





I went over to my dad's recently to get copies of just a few family photos. Lately I've decided I'd like to slowly work on a family history for my family and Noah's. The challenge is getting other people to participate and share stories. I realized as he and I browsed through photos that I haven't thought about my mom in a while. I remember when the pain was fresh and I thought about her multiple times a day. All these years later and it seems I've put a sort of mental barrier in place to protect myself. There are times that thoughts skim the surface, but I tend to just smile and think "I had a great mom" and then let the thoughts roll past. 

Now that my best friend is a mom and I think about becoming one in the (hopefully not too far away) future I find myself thinking of mom more. She would have loved to be a grandma. If anyone reads this and needs comfort in the loss of her mother.... I would definitely recommend Motherless Daughters. I warn you that I still haven't gotten through it because the anecdotes and feelings from the author and countless women who have written in to her speak so truly. But if you're ready for one of those "good cries" then this book can help you put words to feelings about your loss that maybe you hadn't been able to say before. 

Tour de Cure

06 June 2016








I had a blast at the Tour de Cure in Reston this weekend. Seriously, kayaking and biking are activities that have me grinning from ear to ear while I partake and I love that. Yesterday I checked in at registration and got my bib number and because of the impending rain we didn't have a group release. So I walked back to my car, got my bike, and set off on the W&OD trail. There were a bunch of riders out for the cause and while I stopped at the rest stop I got to talk to several families about who they were dedicating their rides to. It was such a positive energy and I found that being with so many other bikers was very motivating. I've already reached out to the Winchester Wheelman about their riding levels. It'd be great to get into a group here and get a little more serious about it. This was my very first tour and I'm looking forward to stepping it up a notch when I do it next year!

Taking Time

27 May 2016


In my time off from volunteering I've been doing little projects here and there. Most recently it's been school/organization related tasks, but also some house ones scattered in between. Today is a Friday though and Noah only has one week left of classes before he's off for the summer, so my plan is to do a thorough cleaning process on our house. There are more exciting projects (like painting!), but I need to get this little jobs out of the way first.

After we finish with our house we plan to spend the weekend at the lake. Noah and I spend more time at the lake house than anyone else in the family and we want to contribute to the homey feel. We're prepared to clean out all the boats, powerwash the deck, and get the campfire pit all cleaned out. It will be an "unplugged" weekend. We'll have phones with us for safety purposes, but I don't plan on checking in with technology while we stay at the lake. I'm ready to clean and be present with my family and nature. It's been a long time.


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