The Better Person

13 June 2009

Remember when you were a little kid and someone wronged you in some way? Your parents would say "be the better person" and would expect you to do the 'right thing'. I wish that was easier for me. I'm the better person a lot of the time (really, not trying to be big-headed but I feel like I cave in a lot for other people) but its something thats really difficult to do. Sometimes the line blurs and I end up not standing up for myself when I should. Its always been a difficulty for me. I can stand up for others before myself and I will avoid saying something or doing something if it seems remotely 'rude' to me. *

Even though I tend to be better than a good number I'm not the best. I think my boyfriend may be though. I swear whenever I get angry or upset at someone he tells me to take the high road. I don't like it at first - I never do - yet he keeps at me and I know in my heart that he's right. That is why I love to talk to him before I make decisions, he helps me keep track of myself. I hold so many grudges and I can be spiteful (especially of late) but I feel guilty sometimes feeling that way. Talking to him allows me to get those feelings out and feel better about myself while still treating the people in the situation with the respect they deserve.

He is a light in my life. I wonder if people's souls/auras/spirits/whatevers could glow in varying degress based on their purity of heart where his would be. How bright would it shine? It would eclipse mine I'm sure. I am so blessed to have such a blanced partner. God knew exactly who I needed to complete me. Yes, complete - I do not necessarily believe everyone who says that you need to be okay with yourself FIRST. I think another person can help you reach that point also by teaching you to be better than you were before.

Either way, I know that he's been a gift that I will never reject. I hope he continues to guide me to the right decisions and actions forevermore.

*For example, tonight at work I signed out but ended up working concessions for another half an hour past that. I was just going to leave but my boyfriend and another friend pressured me to say something about it to our boss. It took them a fair bit of encouragement to get me to say something and I still felt bad. I shouldn't right? I did work the extra time but I feel like I'm beign too forward for some reason.

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