29 January 2010

Sometimes it's very difficult to find a balance in life and I'll admit that much of the time I base this upon outside circumstances. Things have to be going well to begin with (generally) for me to be able to keep a positive attitude.

Fortunately this week has been going well overall (with one huge disappointment). Stress from school is already beginning to hit and I'm doing alright with the workload but if I don't do everything this weekend then I will certainly be falling behind. We're starting the fourth school week of the semester in two days which means the semester is a fourth of the way done.... wow.

The best part about this week has been the balance between all areas of my life. I feel like I've accomplished things, bettered some friendships, finished homework, and found time for myself. Whether it's meeting friends at Starbucks late at night (after getting a cookie from Dogpound), playing pokemon master trainer (twice), getting a free sample of vanilla mocha at 11:30pm, going to Earth and Tea Cafe, or watching some episodes of FRIENDS, well, life seems pretty good overall. It all seems a little surreal. I don't feel quite as concrete in time. Things are too good to be real. For some reason I've also been thinking of my mom a lot more this week. It's kept me up several nights. It seems strange that on such a good week a nightmare has hovered over it each time I attempt to fall asleep....

Still, it's been a good couple of days. On another note, I've realized how some things have become indicators of 'home' in my mind. We get so used to our homes that it can be difficult to define what exactly makes it our home. I don't know honestly if there is a definition but I've experienced several things recently that actually made me laugh because I realized that they actually mean something to me. The odd thing is that they're not exactly positive in the sense I normally think of. For instance, I'm most comfortable with my two lamps on instead of my overhead lighting. This is partly because one of my 'above bulbs' burned out so that light is kind of dim and the second reason is because they provide warmth in the room. Literally warmth. Another thing I noticed just twenty minutes ago is that I've gotten used to smelling cigar smoke when I unlock my door on the landing. None of my roommates smoke (thank goodness!) but people do on the same level as me outside and it's become a symbol in my mind of where I live. I don't particularly like the smell the way I would roses but it's almost a comfort in a way (especially since I don't have to breathe it in all the time).

It's nice to know that there are certain things that make me feel so comfortable here. I call JMU my home and it truly is. My life is complete here. I'm not missing any family members while I'm home. I'm with the love of my life. I'm surrounded by wonderful friends and a great sister. I have so many opportunities. College is exactly where I need to be right now and I'm lucky enough to be there. What a wonderful reason to smile.

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