Fond Remembrances and Times Ahead

24 January 2010

There have been several low points this weekend but I'd really like to wander right on over to all the bright spots because, as you know, I'm trying to focus on all the reasons there are in my life to smile (and there are many).

To start it off, on Friday night I watched a movie with some friends at our on campus movie theater. Zombieland was showing and while it's not exactly my favorite genre it was certainly much better than I was expecting and it was a nice way to begin the weekend.

Then on Saturday I went to the gym with some people and got to feel really good about myself during and afterwards. It's always difficult to get going but you know you did something with your day after the gym. A workout makes me feel accomplished.

My friends and I headed downtown after UREC and we were going to eat at Earth and Tea Cafe but a new restaurant had opened up so we decided to peek in. We ended up eating at Cucchi Guidos which serves NY style pizzas and hoagies and many more NE specialties. We all ordered Panzarottis (sp??) because the menu was limited on only their second day of being open. It was basically deep fried pizza. Yum!

Then I ended up going to a guy's apartment for a game night with friends from my freshman year of college. I loved it! I find it's difficult to be unhappy when I'm with them. The majority of that group is really positive all the time and it just rubs off. I'm a different person when I'm with them. Not fake, but just...different. Better in some ways because I'm always happy. I almost always feel better about myself after being with them and I'm funnier too. Or maybe they just think I'm funnier than I think I am. Either way it's a boost to the self esteem which we can all use once in a while.

It was wonderful to be with some old friends on Saturday night playing games. Particularly a new board game called "thing". I'll have to buy a copy. Players make up phrases or "things" for a certain category. For example the category may be "What you wish was sold in a vending machine" then players will list things such as "true love" or "puppies" or any number of raunchy things. I guess that's the beauty of it and then other players try to guess who wrote what. I'll definitely be buying this game in the future.

After that Noah came over and watched some FRIENDS episodes with me. For a change, I didn't wish my life was like theirs, it already was. Of course I'm not unhappy with anything in my life right now but they always seem so incredibly happy to just be with one another but something the show doesn't put out there is how you begin to take people for granted when you're with them all the time.

This morning Noah's parents came to visit us which was wonderful and they took us out to lunch at a local Italian restaurant that normally we wouldn't go to for lack of cash (poor college kids). I was more of myself than normal around them after last night put me in such a good mood. I tend to be quiet around his parents for fear of being rude or being called "too opinionated" again. At the same time I don't like holding back... It was easy today and his dad even commented about it. Then they took us to starbucks for some cake (I had a slice of lemon cake and a cinnamon dolce latte). We just talked and I enjoyed it. It felt more like a family.

That's what I look forward to: that full acceptance into the family and being treated as a daughter. I often feel that way with his dad already but with his mom it can sometimes be a struggle. More and more lately I've noticed her depending on me to influence Noah though which is good and bad in a way. Noah is of course quite capable of taking care of himself but I still appreciate the idea of her considering me responsible (which I am).

I never feel like I have a family in that sense of the word. As I've said before on here, I'm a firm believer in "friends are the family we choose for ourselves" but, especially at this age, it's hard to not have a 'home' or a mom who wants to hear about all of your college experiences and courses. A dad would work too of course but it just didn't happen that way in my life.... I truly look forward to the day I officially become a part of Noah's family because that signals a whole new part of life that I've never experienced.

So to sum it all up, I'm very glad to share times with some old friends and I'm looking forward into the years ahead when I will truly have a family again. Though despite all the changes that happen in life... some things will remain the same.

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