This is My Tuesday: Family

09 November 2010

Wendy at Red Boots started a theme for "This is My Tuesday".  She gives topics each Tuesday and invites other bloggers to post as well.  This week's theme is family.

 I must admit that my definition of family has been forced to change through time.  When I was little it was very simple.  I had a mom, a dad, and a sister.  Done and done! Of course I had grandparents too although at the time I hated visits because I couldn't stand the smell of my grandparents house (my grandma smokes). To be honest I still hate the smell but I value time with them much more.  There was extended family on both sides but we usually only visited at fourth of July or Christmas. Family was easy. Family was happy. Family was home.

Then my concept changed. After losing my mom our family fell into havoc.  My sister and I had not been overly close with our dad and we did not have any way to communicate between us.  My grandparents are... gruff people. I hadn't been close to my aunts and uncles.  I relied on my friends to get me through this. Noah and my sister were the biggest helps but being able to get out of the house and be with people who cared about me was what was important. They became my not-exactly-family family.  

Now... Well, I'm still a bit confused about who exactly I count as family.  I rely less on blood ties than others do probably because I think you should be with people who are healthy for you more so than be obligated to be around people who damage your emotional wellness. I do count my blood family as family but when I walk through stores and see picture frames that say "Family" on them with little quotes it just makes me a little disgruntled. I don't have pictures to put in a frame like that.

More so, I look to the future. I see my future every day, ever morning, every evening. It's a very bright, warm, happy future in the form of a handsome young man.  He is my family.  Or, at least, my future family.  My sister is another rock in my life, the only person who has traveled this world fully with me.

I guess now family is a mixture of all things. I accept the flaws in my family (and myself in not being ready to correct the past) and move forward with them. Yet, I think this is only possible for me because I formed a second family of sorts to carry me through.  That is my reason to smile, that life throws challenges at us but that were are given the gift of friends and family to pull through.


Dawn said...

Great post Alli!
It is so are the people you love, can rely on, and are there for you in good and bad. They don't (I believe) have to be blood-related at all!

Hugs to you.
So glad you have the handsome guy as part of your family too;))))

Erin said...

This is a lovely post, Alli. You shared a lot of yourself. I love the photo of you and your darling Noah!

Jordanna said...

Thanks for sharing about your family Alli! It's so neat to hear a part of your story. Family is made up of those you love, like you said :).

Red Boots said...

Thanks for sharing and taking part Alli. Love your photos!

I agree that definitions of family aren't always clear cut. My family isn't, that's for sure. My oldest sister isn't too close to any of us, and my friends feel closer to me than my sister. And as much as I love my parents and other sister, when I think about family my first thought is always of my boyfriend and I. We are our own little unit, and each other's future.


Kimbirdy said...

wow! first of all, i don't think i knew your family history, that you lost your mom. what a difficult thing that must have been (and still probably is). secondly, i'm like you in that i count my friends as my true family. i love my blood family, but the family i chose is in many ways much closer to me. i think family is a very subjective thing in life, and we're all lucky to have whatever kind of family we end up with.

ps - the word verification is the german word for "sh*t." how funny is that?!

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