Me with my soon-to-be roommates.
Noah, me, James, and Jake
(see the end of this blog post to hear about the most BEAUTIFUL part of my life right now)
This morning I woke up and I was so tired! I hit snooze twice before getting up so I made the decision to go to Starbucks before work to grab some coffee (I think I'll have an addiction soon after all these visits). What a great decision! I was still at work by 8:30 which was fantastic and I was awake and happy all morning long. I even had an hour break from looking for fossil fish teeth because I was packaging samples into envelopes. The morning just flew by!
Lunch break was good because I had plenty of time to get to the gym and I was working. I was in the zone because I was geared to get back to work by a certain time. The only teency downside here was that I barely had a lunch. It's my own fault. I got home, changed, and sort of forgot to eat.... Oops. It's ok, later I took half an hour to go to the post office and I got a pretzel on the way.
The afternoon went slowly but it was alright, I split up the last three and a half hours with the break to the post office. On that note, my photos for Tillie's photoswap are gone and on their way to a foreign country. I'm very happy and I'm looking forward to receiving mine in the mail (hopefully next week!).
Ok, now for the bad....
What happened to this?
I got a package in the mail from my dad. By package, I mean envelope with the mail that for some reason still goes to his house. What got me though was the letter that came with the package. There was a typed letter (one and a half pages) that was dictated as if it was a journal entry about what was going on in his life. It didn't sound like he was talking to me so much as just recounting his days. It always sound like he's complaining. I'm so busy. I had to get firewood while it was hot out. I'm tired of waiting to get married.
Wait. What? He said in this letter that he and his "fiancee" are thinking about eloping, just going off and getting married so they don't have to worry about all the 'details' that a wedding requires. You mean... picking out a date and inviting people that matter to you? Oh yeah. Don't get me wrong - I want a bit nicer of a wedding than that when my day comes but it wouldn't be bad to just do it somewhere and have a friend officiate without any decor or real work. but what gets me is that it's basically a DECLARATION of their acknowledgement. They realize that NO ONE wants to be there.
That may seem harsh. Trust me, it isn't. Her mom (the only person she even knows exists) doesn't like it, his daughters don't like it. He doesn't have any friends. She doesn't have any friends. Who would be left to go?
He mentioned them looking at weekends in September in our home church which bothered me. He said they were full but.... I guess since they kept "putting it off" (his words) then I was hoping maybe he had come to his senses and realized what a horrid mistake he was making and that he would eventually call the whole thing off. I was, apparently, wrong.
No, this is not a thing about "she's not my mom!". I'm old enough that I don't need a mom (although I of course wish she was with me every, single day). It's the fact that they started dating less than 3 months after my mom passed away, she was moved in within 5 months after that, and then they got engaged just a year after my mom was gone. That is WAY too quick. Can we say rebounding??? They're not remotely compatible (neither is really a good person either). She's never been married and she's 55. That doesn't always mean something...but with her, it does. There are reasons. Then my dad got married right out of college, got divorced. Married my mom. She passed away just two years ago. Then he's trying to marry this woman.... Maybe he should take some time to become closer to his daughters, his parents, his brother, make some friends, or discover himself. Instead, he realizes that he can't do anything because my mom took care of everything. He couldn't cook, clean, do laundry, anything really that involves housework. Neither can his fiancee. She's lived with her mom. Always. She can't cook or do laundry either. Her MOM has always done those things. Can you tell I despise this?
Instead, I'm told I'm "too young" and people say "he's grieving". No. I know what I have been dealt, I recognize how lucky I have been to find a man so perfect for me as Noah and I know there isn't anyone I'd rather spend my life with. I've spent five years with him as we developed our relationship. And we're still not engaged. Dad wants to be married? He's just afraid to be by himself.
Ok, so one of these days you'll see a really pissed post on here about how he got married and how idiotic the whole thing is. Then, another day you'll see one that is (I'm just slightly ashamed to say) smug about their divorce. Probably with her getting all of his money. He refuses to sign a prenup even though he has two daughters in college....
Alright, done. I promise. I have a lot of stuff pent up in me from this summer and I long for a friend to confide in, to hold me, and to talk to me, and listen to me. Just a few more weeks. But I won't let it go on here any more than this, but thank you for reading. I feel slightly sick to my stomach so it's time to look at all that is beautiful in life.
Ready for it? I am.
These are my guys.
My friends are moving in. In just two weeks.
I cannot possibly explain in words how happy this make me. I've said it before, but I'm living with three guys. One is Noah. I can't believe I'll be able to come home to him each and every night. We technically have separate bedrooms but we'll see how that works. I want to have him near me all the time, especially after being apart this summer. Even when I have a really long day or he's at trombone practice until 10pm, we'll still, at the very least, be able to say goodnight and I love you to each other's faces. I feel like I've been waiting years for this. and to be fair... I have.
Then, I have my best friend Jake. He is the best listener I know. I'm afraid I talk over him a bit too much. Not to be mean! I have few people that I trust the way I trust him and he lets me vent about all my frustrations, I get caught up sometimes and keep going forever. He is the only person beyond Noah that I am completely honest with at all times. With other friends I am reserved about certain things (usually things that they'll disagree with or may hurt their feelings) but we can tell each other. Of course, that rarely happens because he's too good of a friend. He puts all of the rest of us to shame.
My final roommate is a guy named James. He went to my high school but I didn't like him much then. He's changed so much since graduating though. Or perhaps it's from dating his girlfriend.... Who knows? He's mature emotionally and can be serious (which I need sometimes) but is also extremely funny (he'll run around slapping butts (ahem, noah and jake's) but then he'll slap mine too just because he doesn't see me as different. There aren't too many guys who can pull that off without seeming like an ass. He just makes me feel included. Anyways, he's one of Jake's best friends so I can trust that we'll get along rather well. I'm really looking forward to learning about another person in such an intimate way.
Jake and Noah are as much my family as my sister Kelsey and much more so than my father. I really, truly hope that the same will be said of James in just a few months time.
How lucky am I to have these people in my life? Even when everything else is going wrong, I have them to count on. The fact that we'll be living together hasn't even been fully incorporated into my brain. I don't think I can comprehend how it will be. It's not the same talking to someone on the phone as in person. It's not fun to be the one visiting a dorm every night then having to leave because we have school the next morning. Now, the last people I see each day will be them. The first people I see in the morning will be them. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like my dreams came true with this.
Also, my sister will be back in town. I've never gone so long without seeing her. It'll have been over three months.... I can't wait to see her, my freshman year friends, my girlfriends, my major friends, my guy friends, and my boyfriend. I'm very excited. Can you tell? I love my school. I love my college. I love my life.
There are some bad things that happen that we have no control over. I can't make decisions for other people. The best I can do is surround myself with brilliant people who love me. I have. Life is good.