I know posting has been sporadic lately and honestly that's because I've been so stressed and so incredibly bummed out. While I want to be honest about my life, I want this blog to emphasize more of the positive. It's not a show for anyone else, its because I need a place to come to in order to focus on the positive in my own life. In fact very few of my "real life" aka non-internet friends even know I have a blog and I think only one of the three people that do know actually reads it.
I do have a lot of good things going in my life, reasons to smile if you will, but it seems that a lot of days recently I've been focusing around the negative. I'm hoping it is a combination of stress, lack of time, and schoolwork but I'm a tad bit afraid it's not. Lets say it is school and stress.
Since the beginning of my junior year I've hardly had a break. Last summer I was at school by myself working 8 hours a day all summer long. I had two weeks off before school started again in fall. Now I'm three weeks away from graduation. Then I get one whole glorious week before I jump into grad school classes that go from 8:30am to 9pm at night. Then I have about a month off (during which I'll probably be working full time) then graduate school starts for the fall term. Basically I'm looking at three years of schooling with only one or two week vacations throughout.
Sounds reasonable to be stressed and upset right? Plus with all that work I have literally no time to spend with friends. I see one (maybe two) people a week for an hour and then I don't see that same person again for another three or four weeks in order to see other people. Senior year is all work and no play.
So, it makes sense to me that it could be stress. Yet I've always been a bit worried that since I lost my mom I've been a more negative person. I try to tell myself that it's time correlative with me getting more school work so it's impossible to know, but I'm worried. What about when school ends - will I still be negative?
Guess there's no way of knowing until I get through all of this. Challenges are good for you right?
Here's hoping I can view the rain less as a downer and more as.....
Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Cuddles make everyone happy right?
So, how do you relax? I mean, REALLY relax? Or have fun? I could use some ideas my way right about now.
I hope this wasn't overbearingly negative. I want to be honest about myself and I'm definitely going through some rough patches, perhaps I should say a rough year.... But I want this blog to be a place to focus on the happy so here, is a list of my reasons to smile this week:
- Ate ice cream with my Littles this week
- Made my (old) President's day
- Done with my high school lesson
- One more field trip to go (hallelujah)
- I have one heck of a fiance!
- I've remained healthy while many are getting sick
- Ate mexican AND pizza this week
- Found some new vegetarian recipes
Ok, I'll meditate on that for a bit. Hope you're having a good weekend and that you're able to focus on the positive (and think those positive thoughts my way!)
PS - Hoping to do a giveaway in one week. Sorry about the wait, but at least next weekend I don't have a field trip to stop me from getting to the Market!