Some Worries & Frustrations

12 April 2012

To make this more bearable, I'm going to throw in some fun photos. Feel free to browse the photos and ignore the total downer that follows. Sometimes I really debate typing up everything because I like to keep it positive around here, but when it's all said and done, this blog is for me. I don't want to look back with rose-colored glasses and forget that times were hard, but I do tend to focus on the positive. Anyways, this will be the last text-heavy post for a while and I do have a lot of great things to tell you about!

The fun photos:

Now, I try not to make things sound glittery and full of glam. I think there are a good number of positive deals in my life right now, but that doesn't mean there aren't stressors. I think sometimes it's way too easy to try to sell yourself online. Lets be honest though, life isn't all fun and games. Here's some of the stuff that's been troubling me lately and some of it pretty heavily.

I feel like I snap at Noah every time he comes home. It feels as if I put forth all this positive energy at school to my students then come home and just can't keep it up. This hurts me because of all the people in my life Noah is the most positive and deserving of my love. I talked to one of my grad school friends and she said she's having the same problem. I'm hoping that when we get paid to work and no longer have the thesis to do this will fix itself a bit.... Don't get me wrong we're happy for the most part, but sometimes I just feel so selfish.

On Monday I missed my first ever full day of student teaching from being sick.

Break was not relaxing. The only times I felt really happy were when I was out to lunch and dinner with friends and family. I had to eat and I really enjoyed my time with company. The rest of the time was spent in a downward spiral with me fretting about my thesis (which I thought was due this past Monday and, in fact, was not).

I've been playing phone tag with a principal. My phone is off during school and I can't check email and when I'm out of school so is he! I'm worried that we're never going to schedule an interview.

I have no idea where I'll be living in three and a half months. 'Nough said.

Will Noah and I be able to get jobs within driving distance from one another?

What if I have to sub next year instead of having my own classroom?

A lot of my issues right now are my "What Ifs?". You never really know what's coming your way so for the most part I'm just counting my blessings!


Tomorrow I'll be back with some pictures from our field trip (probably in the afternoon). As you're reading this I may be off in our nation's capitol!


Morgan said...

sending good juju :)

Erin {pughs' news} said...

It's good to be honest with yourself about how you feel, Alli. I've got my fingers crossed for you and Noah, that you'll both get great jobs, close to each other, and that those worries and frustrations you're feeling now will soon be a thing of the past.

I can relate to the worrying bit. I'm a born worrier, always fretting about something :(

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