Things I'm Afraid to Tell You

06 May 2012

There's a campaign of sorts going on right now encouraging bloggers to share the other side of life. You know, the part that is not stylized and glam. I think this most often applies to design and style blogs, but we're all guilty of it. We build up our lives online hoping others think we have it made when in reality we all have fears and hidden corners. Jess at Make Under My Life started the Things I'm Afraid to Tell You series.

I try to be honest, but I also always try to focus on the positive here. However, today is a day to share. It's a time to let you know what's on my mind and the obstacles I face and hide.

1. I think about my mom. all. the. time.  Little things will make me think of her a lot.  There are many days were I get mad, sad, and jealous all within one second when a friend mentions that they have their mom coming in to town. I know I'm not the only girl to lose her mom and I know there are a lot of people who were younger than 18 when they lost theirs. I still feel like it is so unfair each and every day.

2. My apartment is a mess. This is almost all my fault. People always see that I live with guys and assume they must be pigs but the truth is they are 100xs neater than me. I haven't had ALL of my clothes clean since before spring break and I'm so bad about hanging up clean laundry that for the past three weeks I've been leaving it in a basket and throwing it in the dryer in the morning to de-wrinkle it.

3. My last visit to the gym was 2 1/2 months ago. I've been busy but not so buy I don't have any time to exercise.

4. Noah and I eat out. a lot. It's probably my favorite past time. I am seriously concerned that I am getting addicted to junk food. Is that possible? I feel cravings for it and feel no urge to say no. I'd rather spend money on food than clothing, alcohol, or objects.

5. I get jealous seeing bloggers with perfect homes, families, and travel experiences. Doing this series is just a reminder that none of these things are true: no one has a perfect piece of life ever, but it doesn't stop me from being green with envy. I also believe that I have unreal expectations for how I can decorate a house and do hundreds of DIY projects when I start my "real life".

6. Sometimes I feel like I have less friends than I should. My friends are very close friends, but I don't have a lot of time to spend with them much less time to make new ones! I'm afraid that when I move to a new city I'll lose all of my connections and never get out of my little, happy bubble with Noah.

7. There are days where I am afraid I'm going to fail at my career. What if I can't control my classroom? I have always been under-confident in my abilities. I am super embarrassed when I need to sell myself whether in a conversation or in an interview.

8. I'm very critical and judgmental. I am always trying to better this trait in myself but I struggle with understanding the decisions of others sometimes. It is hard for me to recognize that just because someone lives their life differently than me it doesn't mean I am better (or worse) in any way.

I know that most of us have issues that we are worried about, but we so often hide them from the world that we feel ashamed or as if others must always have it better. The grass is always greener right? I think it's refreshing to read what other people have to say about the hidden corners in their lives.


Morgan said...

i love the idea of this post!
i definitely think it's something everyone should do!

and i can totally get behind you feeling like every other blogger has THE perfect life.
i do the same thing

M. Flynn said...

You are going to be wonderful in your career! I just know it. And it's not fair that you lost your mom so young. No one should have to go through that. Life is tough sometimes. PS My apartment always looks like a tornado just hit it.

Laura Elaine said...

This is very inspiring. I think I will write a post like this, very exposing and also helps you see yourself more clearly!

Thank you for being open!

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