A Hard Few Days

02 November 2014

It's been difficult around here lately. It seems like my life is a big ball of stress and work sometimes. The only thing that makes me uncontrollably happy is Odin because he's the only positive thing I get in abundance any more. 

I don't mean this to sound depressed... though sometimes I wonder about it still, but rather that life just gets difficult and messy sometimes. With school, lack of friends in the area, and a lack of time with my husband it feels like I'm constantly trying to work through some project or other to get to free time, yet I never quite make it. Or I choose to add stressors to my life. I have a hard time saying no. Rather, perhaps I have a bad habit of initiating then realizing I've taken on too much but feel to ashamed to say anything about it. 

Right now it feels like I've had so much emotion built up in me over the past few months (years?) that I've almost reached a wall where it suddenly has all fallen off and instead of being sad or angry I am almost just void. Like, I'm going through the motions because that's what my script says to do. Only when I get to run with Odin do I feel free so I'm trying to spend a lot of time at the lake. Thank goodness for (wo)man's best friend.

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