36 Questions

04 August 2017

The 36 Questions to Fall in Love have ignited several of my friendships. I think "falling in love" is a misnomer as the questions allow you to strengthen the bond with anyone in your life, not just with a romantic partner. 

The questions were a psychology experiment of sorts. Two strangers were randomly assigned to each other and were asked to discuss the questions, in order, with one another. There are three sets of questions and they progress from more abstract towards more personal and intimate. 

While doing these questions with my friends (usually covering five or so questions over coffee for two hours) I've found that these questions naturally branch off into organic conversation. My advice would be 1) use these questions as a tool to feel more comfortable and intimate with someone important to you and 2) don't be afraid to go "off topic". Use the questions as a launching point, not an ending point. If you ask a question, listen to your partner's answer. If you have a natural follow up question, ask. Ask them how it made them feel. Ask why they responded how they did. Was there a hesitation in their response? Did they smile? Frown? Did their voice warm as they talked about their experience?

Conversation and connection can be found in all of our relationships, if we have the time and emotional intimacy to put into them. The beauty of these questions is it gives your meeting a purpose of sorts, especially if you're meeting with a friend who doesn't always delve into personal feelings. 

I hope they bring you joy like they've brought to me. 

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